Creating Change

Has your week ever been filled with a sequence of events that are impossible to ignore? These events could be reflecting a passion, a hidden thought or desire, or even serve as a means to inspire you. This past week, my leadership ambitions have stood in clear view everyday and been shouting at me to pay attention and begin taking action.


A wonderful quote I discovered this week from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says, “A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” This stuck out to me because in the last year, peer pressure has seemed to blind me from my ambitions of uplifting women and setting a positive example. This evening, I chose to attend a screening of Miss Representation: written, produced, and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. This film has graced several course lectures about women in media, but no showings moved me as much as this one. A report in the film said depression in women has doubled from 2000-2010. Additionally, the rates of abused women were alarming as were the strategies major marketing corporations use to make women insecure. As a result, women make more purchases. The film supported the idea that such practices in media, and a Capitalist society as a whole, are making women more concerned with appearance than achievement. Undoubtedly, this makes it much more difficult for women to hold leadership positions: a large enough battle without the media.

Watching this film had several effects on me: it inspired me to sign up with missrepresentation.org to support their cause, share a piece on my blog that might encourage other women to do so as well, and fearlessly chase my intellectual passions. It was two years ago that I transferred to my University with the hopes of creating change for women in the magazine industry. With graduation so close and my mission more defined than ever, I felt compelled to encourage all women reading this blog to look into the Miss Representation website, check out the film Miss Representation, celebrate your talents, and love yourselves.

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This blog is my first step toward creating change. It is nice to know I am not alone, but for a significant change to be made, many others must believe in the cause as well. This post is not just about changes for women, it is about creating change in any area that inspires you. By doing so, you acknowledge your strength as an individual with a mind and a voice. Like Dr. King said, mold your own consensus. Create the world you would like to see, so other people might see it too.

The next time someone says they did not know you were so passionate about change, just “Winc.” at them, knowing it was alive in you all along.

PLEASE visit missrepresentation.org and spread the word in your community!

Familiarizing with Family

Do you ever look back at the adolescent relationships you had with your family as life develops; hoping to recapture those moments of unconditional love, which are hard to come by today ? Well, if you haven't, I have. It seems the older I get, the more important my family becomes, no matter how far I pushed them away as a teenager. Especially with all of the catastrophe, hate, and darkness around us today, cherishing our loved ones can be more healthy and helpful than ever.

During my first attempt to transfer college's from Junior College, my mother couldn't get away any sooner. However, after pushing to handle all of the responsibilities of college on my own and realizing how much she has been there to help, my mother has an entire new role in my life. In fact, when issues get too problematic, it is better to complain to her than some of my friends, who I am sure have enough to worry about. For the first time this summer I put my family first, and priorities/ friends second. In doing so I found time to paint my grandma's finger nails, do her laundry, bring her flowers, help my mother and father, still having time for all of the important activities and people in my life.

Lately more than ever, there is a social standard set requiring we build an army of friends just to say "mine is bigger than your's." But what good is an army of friends who will all flee when a battle breaks lose. By putting family first and only my dearest friends second, this summer has been more fulfilling than most. (Not to say I didn't have and unforgivable amount of fun certain summers) In any case, next time the world is on my back or a war is approaching in my life, I know those people ( family especially) will be there. 

I am all for moving towards a brighter and more advanced future; as long as we don't lose sight of what's important in life. So I propose spending even a few days away from electronics, jersey shore, or whatever other distracting factor we spend time on, and with our family.

 No matter how different we grow from our family, they are still there and more important than anything imaginable. Next time you are getting ready to argue with an ex, watch a mindless reality show, or party, think about someone who has given you unconditional love and how good it may feel to return it. Familiarize yourself with family, and next time a difficult situation approaches "Winc" with confidence knowing there is a solid army behind you.

Yielding to Youthfulness

The other day, I ran into my Uncle while leaving my fathers home. He asked how I was doing and my reply was "tired." After twisting his face in a manner suggesting his opinion of the statement he responded saying "You're to young to be worried about a bunch of stuff. Slow down baby." About a year ago that statement would have gone in one ear and out of the other, but a year ago, I wasn't this tired.

The rest of the day I did my best to be steady and patient while also getting to the root of this exhaustion. I had moved about 6 times in the last year, had a soul depriving boyfriend, and spent at least 2 hours a day crying and running through my memory to find out where it all started. I am sure even you are exhausted at this point just imagining the energy it took to do that. In any case, my mind has wondered so aimlessly for the last year because I was spending to much time trying to be an adult, or the next Oprah Winfrey if you will. 

All the while, other kids my age were taking life as it came, enjoying each moment, nourishing their friendships, the way we should when we are younger. With media so available in our present day society and the constant push to "be" something you just are not, its easy to overstep our youthful boundaries. However, I have discovered only when I let myself be, well, myself, does my life progress in any manner.

There are a ton of young adults who live their lives separately from me, make their own choices, and make more or less mistakes than I have, so this might not apply to all. But to those young 20 somethings who are moving too quickly in the wrong direction, next time you get to an intersection, yield, and take a deep breath before crossing, who knows what you may be missing if you chose a different direction. Yield to your youthfulness and when you are already in your late 20's and a fine, successful adult, you'll be happy. Oh, and when life is going the direction you had always hoped, don't forget to look at yourself in the rear view mirror and "Winc."



"You are only young once, and if you do it right, once is enough" - A woman I interviewed named Annie

Confronting the Cheater

I have a close friend who has been experiencing inconsistent patterns in her boyfriends behavior for the last 6 months. She is incredibly trusting, strong, and confident, but it seems that her partner has begun to challenge her boundaries. First it was just going out often, next it was suspicious text, and lately a request for partial separation.


Unfortunately, since we are women, there is an innate attachment to a person like that; some of us may hope they will come back around and be the honest gentleman we began to date others just feel no one else will want them after this bastard tore them apart (or maybe that is just me ;)). I do not want this post to be about catching a cheater, because sometimes they may not be messing around with another girl, just your feelings and lenience.                      
                                                                                                        So I guess the question is, for her and the rest of us, when do we stand our ground in a long term relationship gone sour?                                                            


In any case, this particular friend asked me how to address the issue several days ago and I had no good advice other than to be honest and trust your instincts. Life is short, and your soul is valuable. When you are in a relationship, both are being compromised so it is important to confront the cheater before either are further stripped from you.

So ladies, next time your man is testing, taking advantage, or cheating know that there is a world filled with millions of men with the capacity to treat you right and a billion women who sympathize with you. You may be surprised by how many of us are willing to offer unbiased support. There is never a need to compromise your standards to work around a deceitful man. Confront the cheater and when you close the door on him and that poisonous relationship, don't forget to look  straight ahead and "Winc."

Perfect Pallets

Okay Ladies, so it has become an inevitable fact, that as each year passes by, we somehow manage to accumulate an array of make-up products. Throughout the years, I have always been fond of special collection eye shadow pallets sold at Mac, but somehow manage to lose, misplace, or destroy them.

This past weekend, I participated in a video shoots and had the privileged of getting my make-up done by a woman who works at MAC. When she did my eye shadow, she used several large pallets (3*5) with awesome colors. I could not help but ask her where she got them and if they were available to the public. The pallet case itself could not have been more than a quarter inch thick and had me in pure awe. Think about it Ladies; 15 colors of your choice in one thin, organized, and flat pallet. Life can not get much sweeter.


The pallet itself is not cheap, but I can almost guarantee the large will last over a year depending on frequency of use. The 4- Pallet tray is $49.00 and the 15 pallet is $179.00. Again, all pallets are customized by and for your taste. I could not think of a better product to spread the word about right now.

Next time you have a hot date, a night out with the girls, or just want to add something extra to your lids, make a perfect pallet for your perfect self. And when you are walking around showing off your new "shades", don't forget to close your eye and "Winc" so everyone can see.






Follow this link to check it out!

MAC Custom Pallet

Reduce the Use

While I was driving the other day, I had a thought. "Why doesn't someone sell reusable lunch bags so I don't have to keep buying any?"

I went on the internet and there they were. To my surprise and delight, a group of women have created a lunch baggie that is machine friendly and inexpensive. Not only do these baggies help the environment, but they save money and a trip to the store you may have otherwise had to make. Sure, I am upset I didn't think of it first, but I am pleased to share this product with any women viewing this page.

The company's name is LunchSkins, and they have cleverly provided an array of designs to match your personality. This is a short post, as I have made it to specifically share this product with all of you. I know I have to grab snacks for long days on campus and women in the professional world usually do the same for lunch hour.

Save yourself a few dollars and purchase a few LunchSkin sandwich or snack bags. From the look of their ratings and design, they will last far longer than any bag I have used.

http://www.lunchskins.com/our_store_a/144.htm

Favoring Friendship

As I have mentioned in previous postings, we so easily get wrapped up in all of the negative parts of our lives, that sometimes, we hardly recognize the good. Today was tragic for me in more ways then one, but the evening reminded me of my simplest pleasure and abundant part of life, my friends.

The last year or so, I had spent a lot of time feeding a negative relationship and ignoring all of the lovely people encouraging and supporting me. The other day, a close friend and I were discussing the time and blessings we had began to lose track of so we decided to make a list of regrets we may have had we died that day. My most important regret would have been the lack of love and friendship I endured this past year, and tonight, I was reminded by two old friends just why that would be.

Several young men and I met two years ago. One of them saw me dancing at the club and was determined to get my number. Although I declined many times, he found a way to get to me through a mutual friend and a 65 mile radius. Thus began my first summer as a college student learning what true love and friendship means with the opposite sex. They are rowdy, funny, and allow me and my girls into their circle of conversation without hesitation. They helped me have the most beautiful and memorable summer of my life.

I left to school and seldom came home for a visit as I quickly became infatuated with a new love interest. Everyone else in my lifem who truly knew me best began to fade, these boys included.

One of my special male friends sent me a text, seeing how I was doing, the other day and to my surprise, he would be visiting the new area I am living in. We plan to see each other and I am beyond excited. Today seemed dreary and frustrating until my friend lets me know he will be in the area this very night and is bringing another close friend with him.

To be honest, I was nervous. Not because I hadn't seen them in a long time or because I used to have a crush on one of them, but because I knew I was sad and did not want true friends to see me in that state. They are used to me being high strung, which I miss. When they arrive at my apartment complex, I have enough love in me to squeeze them each for a decade. I almost forgot what my friends meant to me and through this visit, I experience love again for the first time in a while.

Speaking with the two of them made me feel like we only hadn't seen one another for a week. I was comfortable, happy, and myself; this is a perfect feeling. As the night dwindles, there is never a dull moment. I am appreciating every second they spend with me. When they finally left, I wished they would have stayed forever, just to make sure that feeling never fades away.

Reconnecting with friends like this and never taking a moment for granite was the most complete use of time I have had since leaving for school. The last person I spent this much time with challenged me for being  my comical and warm self. So here am I ladies, advising you not to waste another moment on catty fights or unhealthy relationships because they are not worth the time.

The feeling I had tonight should be brought into our lives each day. Next time a friend is around, do not take it for granite. Favor Friendship above all things, except maybe family, and when four hours pass without you noticing , do not forget to look at your dear friend with appreciation and "Winc." ;)