Barrier Breakthrough

So many of us put up barriers to strangers, and most of the time we should. How is anyone to know whether or not they are running into an ax murderer? (Just make sure they are empty handed and without pocket ;))

Today I went on a hike alone. I do not recommended it to all, but for those brave enough and familiar with trails it is a great way to go. Once reaching my final hiking destination, the lake, and lying out for a while on a bench and then on a vertical cement wall that led into the water, a few hikers and bike riders passed by, all saying hello in a friendly manner, and then one man called for my attention. Normally, I would have been reluctant to answer, but I spoke with him. He was a marathon swimmer and wanted me to keep and eye out so he made it to the end and back safely. When he came ashore we spoke some more, shook hands, he complimented me on my hair, and then we parted ways.

Prior to descending an older gentleman approached me and asked if I ran the rails. I replied that I didn't and he took that as an invitation to walk back down the hill with me. I was worried at first, but he seemed kind enough. As we walked down he spoke to me about how he was an architect, who had attended UC Berkley, and told me a few stories about friends, life, and career. He took about 4 years at a Junior College and a year off before going to Berkley and just sort of "fell in" to architecture.

While he was speaking he seemed not only patient, but wise. We both acknowledged how fearful people are today of accepting life as it comes and adjusting ( I have this problem too, or I did at least.) This reassured me that stress, when it comes to my education, is unnecessary and that I should take it slowly. Prior, I had rushed so quickly towards my passions that I ignored my inner peace.

Once I broke my barriers, today on my hike and in life, patience and wisdom have blown in freely; from strangers especially. If you ask me, a stranger is the best because they do not know you and have seen so many different things. Sometimes it is good to push your walls down, and at other times to keep them up, but don't be afraid to let the world see you and to look back at it with no expectation.

Next time you are brave enough to wander the world alone, be kind, be open, be safe, gain wisdom, and don't forget to Winc. ;)

Helping Hands

Being in college has it's difficulties, amongst them are roommate issues. If we are all lucky, and I have been so far the present school year, we have roommates that get along, share, and respect one another. However, there is one issue present in my current apartment that I have encountered at others over the last year or so.

For some reason, everyone likes to point the finger when it comes to messes and cleaning. This is understandable, because no one wants to clean the bowl of melted ice cream with goldfish floating along the top, but sometimes it goes to far.  I have literally had someone tell me to avoid doing certain tasks, which are no sweat off of my back, so that another person has to deal with the mess. I am sorry, but stepping 4 extra feet with the vacuum cleaner is not going to kill me, and not doing it probably won't make much of a difference to everyone else.

Being that I am currently couch crashing, I do a little extra cleaning when the stench in the kitchen calls for it. If you see a trash bag overflowing and the person responsible continues to neglect responsibility, go ahead a take it out for the sake of the other individuals living in the apartment. Or, if there are no clean dishes and the washer is full, take out the plates, and if you make it a speed game, you may even trim a few inches off of the arm come summertime. 

My greater point is, we all have hands and some times when they are empty we can use them to finish the work of others. Besides, in the grand scheme of life, the poor girl that doesn't know how to clean up after herself is going to be lonely in a smelly house right? Okay, that was harsh, but you laughed a little. ;)

So roomies all across the globe, stop pointing the finger while you are sitting around doing nothing, which is certainly not going to make the stench of a dirty household disappear. Sure, we are just in college and cleaning up is not a priority, but if that is the case, then complaining about others who don't shouldn't be one either. Lend a hand and do a little extra if you can. Besides, being able to take care of yourself and home is important. Next time you are cleaning up your roomies dishes, put on some pink gloves and don't forget to Winc. ;)

Challenging the Chase

Today I am a she-woman man hater. You heard  me right, I am shamelessly telling the world I am a certified feminist, meaning I am tired of taking s*&% from worthless men. Living with two boys for two weeks, yes it only lasted that long, confirmed my suspicions about young men and their intentions with women. One night while hot tubbing, both of my roommates were speaking about a "relationship worthy" girl vs a "fun time." (By the way, I would hope any girl they deemed worthy of dating could see clear through their front, lord knows I have taken at least one person at face value)

Anyways, their conversation consisted of "yeah if she will make me chase her, she is worth it. Otherwise, I will just... well, you know." Now that we have confirmed men are simply animals of competition, lets further our understanding of what they really want. From person experience, I can tell you sometimes the chase is not enough to build a lasting relationship.

I let someone step a few feet to get me before and it was not even that I made him chase, but I made him wait to prove his worthiness. Well, after several months of getting to know one another, I felt he was trust worthy enough to take the next step... I was wrong. Some girls get a little more intuitive after taking the next step, maybe a better word is suspicious, and it is for good reason if you ask me.

My latest boyfriend seemed like and angel until he got what he wanted. Before I knew it, he was out every single weekend. His excuse? His best friends wanted to go do something fun. The logical reason: he got what he wanted from me and he went looking for more because he was bored. Yeah, I know, what a jerk right? Right! And after my male roommate experience I was more sure then ever that going out for some guys is just another way of saying I am going fishing. So being patient and understand making them "chase" is not enough to be secure anymore. WE ARE ALL IN DANGER.

What needs to be acknowledged is the fact we are living in a fast digital age where people want to be simulated at all times. Dressing up and going out clearly is not good enough to break relationship boredom. I just used this to vent current frustrations so do not take anything too seriously, but watch your back. We are living in the 21st century and we need to get with the times. I am an old soul, and far too trusting, so it took me a few first hands lessons.

Challenge the chase, be more patient then ever, more self focused then ever, and more cautious when it comes to a love life. We are all too beautiful and powerful to waste a day on heartbreak. Put on your running shoes and don't forget to Winc. ;)

The Self- Induced Six

I am reading a fantastic book at the moment, written by a sociologist named Deepak Chopra. As a 20 year old, this material should in no way be applicable to my life style, but due to circumstances out of my control... I have managed to begin living my life on a windy chaotic road. While reading his story, I noticed 6 very damaging factors that I am learning to eliminate in my life. They are as follows: Unpredictability, Disorder/ Confusion, Accidents, Trauma/Sickness, Violence, Chaos.

Now I am not trying to point a finger, but prior to my winter break, I had managed to escape most of these psychologically induced illnesses. However, December came along and with home came a small space filled with children and "chaos", a difficult decision regarding school, and a few overly aggressive family members. Yes I will admit it, my family is just as dysfunctional as yours ( at least I will tell myself that so I do not feel alone.)

Anyways, after break and during, I got sick for the first time in a long time, left home with a shattered self esteem, and ended up in the ER for stomach problems. Yes, it is true, having your life filled with all of these unhealthy habits will affect your body. I will give a brief summary of each damaging factor, least to most disruptive. End the madness before it gets out of your control.

Unpredictability:
Irregularity in your life: hours, eating habits, sleeping habits, everything that is present in your life as a routine. Chopra says we need to live our life with rhythms. When we change our rhythms unexpectedly, our lives begin to resemble that kid always dancing off beat in high school (just a hot mess.)

Disorder ( my most difficult area):
Confusion, procrastination, doubting ones self. Lack of control in these areas can have a serious affect in your life. It makes your restless and a "drifter" for lack of better words. You can either drift from place to place for 3 months, and be still and actually allow growth in your life.

Accidents:
Unfocused, self-destructive, distracted. All of these things take us from the present moment. Therefore, we are not paying attention to the things going on around us. Rather, our minds separate from matter or our physical environment. A personal example of mine; Just a few weeks ago, I was attempting to move to So Cal and broke my friends glasses when we went to the pool. I was busy thinking about how I should have stayed in Oregon opposed to being fully present at the moment.

Trauma/ Sickness:
Choosing unnecessary risks and danger, gambling with safety. By ignoring well-known guidelines for healthy living, we expose ourselves to all of these traumas. There are some healthy life style choices that are safe to live by.

Violence:
Choosing to be out of control, unleashing anger and rage. This fires up your cells to a high alert. As control in these areas breaks down, control over time breaks down as well. Then we become late to work, miss out on opportunities, and lose the most important part of ourselves (self-love.)

Chaos:
 Living in total disorder: crime, domestic violence, war. Sleep, digestion, and metabolism become seriously compromised in this area if we do not control these factors. This is how a 20 year old ends up in the ER with stomach pains ( i'm just saying.)

Anyways, I have spent several weeks letting almost all of these affect me. I advise you not to do the same. Should we all know better? Sure. Do we? Not in the least bit. Stay calm, enjoy life, and pick up a safe hobby. Oh, and don't forget to Winc ;)

Sweet Substitutes

Over the last century, the intake of sugar for the average citizen has increased significantly. If you multiply that number by 10, you have the average sugar in take of the modern woman. As stresses in life rise, the cravings only seem to worsen, at least for me, I can not speak for the rest of you. And yes, it is okay to bake, but when you bake and eat half of the batch yourself, you are asking for a new pair of jeans, and not because they look cute.

Well, there are several "sugar substitutes" I have found in college that fulfill these cravings, and also keep my body in it's healthy state.

Dried Mangoes
I had never been a big mango fan as a child, but a good friend of mine let me try one of his dried mangoes while I was in high school. To my surprise, the dried mango's did not have the funny after taste of regular mangoes, and were a little sweeter. Besides the fact that they are not messy, the dried mangoes are a perfect sugary substitute.






Trader Joe's Power Berries
My mother brought these home one day, and to my surprise, they were filling and a little energy boost. What they are is chocolate covered blue berries. And I understand the chocolate sort of goes against the substitute rule, but the chocolate is dark, which is supposed to be good for us right?













Peanut Butter
I think it is disgusting usually when people eat straight out of the peanut butter container, but when class is starting in 15 minutes and you need a quick sugary fill, the peanut butter does the trick. One, it has good fat for your body. Two, it  is pretty sweet so it will hold anyone over for a while.









Chocolate covered raisins 

These are similar to the power berries, except even better. You know why!? because they come in milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate! These travel easy, and are usually fresh if you get them at a large grocery store. (At least I think the bins they are sold in are fresh ;)) In any case, they are sweet as any sugary treat you could think of, and who doesn't want to eat raisins without having to actually taste them!?




Yogurt
I know you have seen them, you know, the yo plait commercials where people are talking about the yummy desert they are having, but it is actually yogurt. Well, I am not sure how I feel about eat yogurt that is supposed to taste like a red velvet cake,but strawberry banana amongst other flavors are great sugary substitutes.









Frozen or Dried Cranberries
I had not thought of this until I had a conversation with my roommate, who is in fact a boy, and told me he eats frozen cranberries to settle his cravings. It is like ice cream, minus the cream and the sugar, and all of the other things in it we can not pronounce.

Meditate to Mediate

Before i finally built up the courage to begin my own blog, I remember being very afraid and detached from myself for several reasons including: a relationship, an unhealthy upbringing, and the constant haunting of bad choices that seemed to be following me everywhere. Well, one good thing I have take from college is a Pandora account ( the free online radio station tuned just to your liking.) Aside from my Motown favorites, there was one station in particular I found that brought me back to a peaceful place.


The station Is called "Healthy Heart Meditations" and is lead by Deepak Chopra (a redound sociologist and a large part of the positive thinking enlightenment) along with other musicians who are inspired by serenity. Since most of us are in college, the techno and racy tracks we listen to can be overwhelming at times. Chopra say's we should mediate about 20 minutes a day. I found that literally taking the whole 20 minutes and tuning into this station made me feel at ease and powerful, which is important when you are a 20 year old hoping to save the world one media medium at a time.

None the less, this little time to myself gave me the courage to build a small website and it will help you do the same( whatever is on your to do list). So start meditating, and if a friend tries to make fun of you, just let them see what they are missing when you walk around with beaming light around you. Seriously, it works. And if all else fails, just Winc ;)

Jam Journal

Have you ever been in a Jam? No, not a Jam, but a state of mind where everything seems to have the word suck stamped across it? During this past summer, a few taggers in my childhood town took the liberty of painting the word SUCK across my windshield during a low point my life. Unfortunately, it is easy to get ourselves into unhealthy or unhappy situations, so learning how to climb out of them just as easily is essential.
Piers Morgan held an interview session with Oprah, where he spoke with her about all of the important things in life: love, money, happiness, and brought up a coping mechanism I forgot about .

When Oprah and Piers were on the topic of past relationships, Oprah opened up about a great way to make it through those difficult times at the present moment and laugh later. She mentioned how she began to keep journals at a young age as a means of self expression. In my opinion, this works better than a drunken text or being drunk period ( a new trend in the get over something department.)

Since a large majority of young adults in my generation have become comfortable with sharing feelings on the internet, while relying on feedback from whoever has the time to care, I propose taking the old fashioned route; Keep a journal life becomes overwhelming and difficult. Sometimes writing feelings down gives us all a better chance to evaluate the REAL issue we are facing. For example, are you lonely? feeling down? Your stream of consciousness will usually assist in answering these questions.


Next time you are in a Jam ( which is delicious so I feel guilty giving it a negative connotation), write in an old fashion journal, slow down, breathe, and keep living on the highroad. Maybe later in life, you can even have a fun burning session with your girlfriends.

P.S.
I mean burning the notebooks, not anything illegal. ;)