Right now, I am sitting in a four bedroom apartment and the only thing I can hear is a freeway which is built along side my bedroom wall. Unfortunately, this is not only the case when all of my roommates are home with their families, but also when they are here. Why? Because all of my roommates have boyfriends to spend time with and families who actually require regular visits during holidays. Mine on the the other hand, may have forgotten about my existence.
When I first arrived at the University, like most first time students, I lived in the dorms. As bored out of my mind as I was, the dorms were enjoyable because there were always people around. Within the first three weeks, I managed to get hit on awkwardly by a few boys and met not a single person who wasn't duck football bananas. Do not get me wrong, I was excited about the football thing before I arrived, especially because it made the city appear to be something of a highly populated area! Unfortunately, television has the power to make small things appear large. Yes, I had expectations, I will admit it.
Anyways, I began to complain about my roommate. She stayed up late watching scientific videos, which should not have phased me, but watching someone turn magnesium into pure Co2 is not exactly my area of interest. She did let me give her a full make over complete with a wax and haircut; now that I could do! Feeling trapped in my dorms, I spent about three weeks trying to break my contract so I could go live with a group of girls I met out one weekend who seemed like more fun... they were not. It was okay at first, when I was still living in my dorm and hanging out with them occasionally, but man did it get crazy.
Here I am, new to this entire college experience, and I make a drastic decision to go live with a bunch of girls I know nothing about. Instances like these only prove my naiveness and lack of strong character. Well, it was fun at first until all of a sudden, they began crying... EVERYDAY. Mostly, it would be about boys who did not give a crap about them. I sympathized at first, but they are still doing it a now (tisk tisk) Well, if you can not already tell, their negative attitudes and lack of self confidence rubbed off on me. Before I knew it, I had lost myself, running around in circles trying to figure out who I was, when I was pretty sure I had that part figured out prior to the move.
Well, of course, I just had to start dating someone, otherwise I would not be the same as all of my girlfriends. I let the main one ( who will remain nameless) hook me up with an old friend of hers and someone she had hooked up with as a freshman two years prior. Several weeks later I found out it was someone who had been hooking up with her close friend the last couple of years (I did not do the math at this point, and that is one of my better subjects in school). Anyways, he took me out, opened my doors, and acted like a pure gentleman. Well, like most girls, I am a hopeless romantic (hopeless being the key word) and I went for it! The first couple of months were blissful, the next couple were moderate, the next couple were horrid, and the last were down right confusing. I should have taken the hint early, when I saw his best friend cheating on his girlfriend with a girl who was friends with his girlfriend, (yes, that was a tongue twister) but I didn't. He swears to this day he loves me, and maybe after several months of me taking his bull, he does. I mean what kind of guy would not want a girl who will hang around when he is not doing right by her. I will stop on my man hating rave right now, I really do love them, but this one may have put me wayyyyyy over.
Aside from that issue, I did not make the cheerleading/dance team because I was busy making everyone happy instead of myself. It is funny, when you think about life prior to your first major heart break, because the world seemed so much more beautiful. Well, after some counseling I should be okay, but for now my heart is just about non existent. The only thing which made this year in Oregon bearable was my cousins girlfriend, who attended the University as well. I am hoping I can blame this horrid experience on the rain and call it a day, but I do not know if that would be fair or helpful.
I came here to dance, and I stopped dancing. I came here to be a journalist, I stopped attending classes regularly. I had every chance in the world to make it work out and I was too busy trying to make friends. So a small piece of advice for all of you collegiate first timers; take it easy, do not pressure yourself to make friends, and stay focused. It is hard to do sometimes when we are young, but hold on to yourself and you will prevail. Now onto the next one... College I mean.
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