Foregoing Flaws

There is a new year upon us, which means many things including; new years resolutions, a mental "fresh start" for many, a time of forgiving, and a time of change. I made no resolutions this new year, because I have been in a phase of changing for several months now. Did I say months? I meant years. The only difference between my past changes and the current, I am now changing for myself and not everyone else.

For almost 7 years now, I have been changing various parts of myself to please my sister, my mother, a boy who is truly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, and others who are simply intimidated by my vigorous attitude ( often mistaken for promiscuity or being "stuck up".) One year, my friends were all white, which obviously meant I wanted to be white ( really no, these were just my friends) so then I underwent a transformation to be a "black girl" (whatever that entails). After I did that, my mom and sister finally left me alone so I was okay. Next, was the boy issue. I was never willing to engage in sexual activity when I was young and I got pestered for it by a boy who later took the liberty of telling everyone I was a slut (I forgive him, but come on.) Then I leave for college, and I am actively participating in whatever interest me because this is what we are supposed to do when we are younger. However, the person I dated at the time decided that was "spreading myself thin" and I should cut down on my activity. (Come to find out, he just did not trust me, but did I stop trying all of the things that made me happy to sit around with him for comfort? Of course.) I even had a boyfriend tell me he liked my hair better straight, which is insulting because my hair in naturally curly and I love it that way.

Currently, I am at my mothers, with a suitcase full few items I need, trying to figure out where I am going next in my life. Before I make this decision though, I have to make one more. I need to learn to look over all of the "flaws" people have managed to convince me are apart of my spirit and live my life as the person I want to be. Although everyone seems to have an opinion about me or what I am doing, are any of them there while I am sitting all alone because I let everything pass me by? No. They are at the mall, out with their friends or teammates, or out on a date.

The moral of the sob story is: Look over the flaws everyone else likes to point out about you. Sometimes an aggressive or positive attitude intimidates others and as we well know; misery LOVES company. Today I will stop being miserable, because all of those things I did so wrong, made me feel so right. I encourage any other girl my age to do the same. You are the only person who ultimately exists in your universe. Incase no one has ever told you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Insecurities of your own often appear in the form of another person, and when that happens, you just have to put up your hand, politely ask them to move, and stay on your jolly road. If you pass them again at some point, just Winc ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2gy1Evb1Kg&feature=player_detailpage